Category: photos
I Want to Ride My Bicycle, or, 5 Tips for Drag Queens on Bike To Work Day
Posted by Lil Miss Hot Mess on May 9, 2011
- Categories: photos| politics| wow!
- 6 Comments
My name is Lil Miss Hot Mess, and I bike to work.
OK, fair enough, I don’t often ride my bike when I’ve got my face on, but I do ride my trusty Gene Kelly (you figure out why I call it that) to work most days, and every now and then I get tired of taking my oversize limousine (er, Muni) to a show. Trust: I absolutely loathe exercise, but I hate waiting even more and you know Grandma Goldie taught me how to save a couple bucks. So, since Bike To Work Day is coming up I thought I’d put together a list of tips for BWD (Biking Whilst in Drag):
1. Your wig will not protect you.
Wear a helmet, girl, and protect your brain, but more importantly your face! Your wig may be huge and could possibly used as a flotation device, but just think about it this way: when you topple onto the pavement and your brain is spilling out onto your flawless paint job, it will not make for a cute photo. Make sure it is snug and secure, just like your…
2. Unlike a microphone, share the road!
One diva, one mic = one diva, one bike? For once, get off that high horse and share the road with cars, pedestrians, and other bicyclists! Think of the bike lane as a catwalk – be fierce but not too ferocious. Follow the rules of the road and stay off the sidewalk, or I will throw you shade!
3. Sequins are good, but spotlights headlights are better.
Find your light, mama! Once the sun goes down, you’ve got to bring your own source: a white in front for the “coming” something red and moody behind for the “going.” I like mine to get all flashy, but that’s just personal taste.
4. Lock it up real tight
Should I go with a Boy Scout knot-tying motif, or a BDSM gag? Well, you get the drift… I have had my wheels stolen one too many times, and it is no fun hobbling down that walk of shame with a busted bike. Lock up your bike securely, the tighter the better, make sure you’ve tied up all the parts to something with a flared base top!
5. Watch your tuck, lady!
OK, this one is totally optional, but from personal experience you might need to shift your ride from defensive to um delicate to protect those lady parts!
That should get you going! Here’s some photos I took with my good friend Philip in honor of Bike To Work Day and the SF Bike Coalition’s Dress-Up Challenge – hope you enjoy!
PS: I haven’t blogged in almost a year, but I’m turning over a new leaf, honeys!
Tags: Bike To Work Day, Gene Kelly
Bat Mitzvah Photos & Thank You
Posted by Lil Miss Hot Mess on February 9, 2010
- Categories: Bat Mitzvah| photos| wow!
- No Comments
Wow. I’m sitting here listening to my new Bette Midler ‘Live at Last’ album in my new teal sequin dress (I didn’t ask for presents, but I wouldn’t say no!) and still feeling ecstatic.
My Bat Mitzvah went off without a hitch: no rain, my gluegun lasted just long enough to make the cake (a Hanukkah-like miracle), and there was a line down the block! I literally had the time of my life and I’m grateful to everyone for dressing up gorgeous, dancing the Horah, and helping me live out this perverted dream!
Seriously, I feel like I’ve made it — not as a star or anything, but as a person in the kind of world I want to live in. And I’ve already heard such overwhelmingly positive feedback — who knows, maybe Lil Miss will throw more parties in her new-found womanhood? (But for now she’s going to sleep for days.)
And the best part: we raised $1500 for the US Social Forum! (If you want to learn/give more, click here.)
Be sure to check out your PHOTOS! (After the jump.) And of course, huge thanks to Mikeomatosis and Justin for snapping them!
Also, while I’m doing thank-yous, let me name all the people I didn’t get to name last night:
PERFORMERS: Sandra O. Noshidi’n't (my sister and co-hostess), Monistat, Mona G. Hawd, Anna Conda, Starr69, Dean Disaster, Vivvyanne ForeverMORE!, and Jupiter!
GO GO GOYS: Sweetcheeks, David, Ryan, Ellie, Julie
DJs: 510’s Finest, Mylo Pony, Pink Lightning
DOOR & COAT CHECK VOLUNTEERS: Ivan, Brittney (with special thanks for the cake!), Louisa, Sarah (with special thanks for my hair piece!), Ed, Sepi, Cary, Devon, Rachel, Val, Bobby
BAT MITZVAH BOYS: Alex, Marc, Maziar, Sergio
ALL AROUND AMAZING VOLUNTEERS: Jerry Lee, Ed, Ainsley, and Philip
THE BLUE MACAW: Barbara, Josette, and all of the bartenders and other staff!
And the part of the toast I forgot: “Here’s to a world based on love and justice… And where everyone can dress like Lady Gaga if and when we want to!”
xoxo,
Lil Miss Hot Mess
Photos after the jump…
cover of the SFBG!
Posted by Lil Miss Hot Mess on February 3, 2010
- Categories: Bat Mitzvah| photos
- 1 Comment
If you haven’t already, you should look for this shining face on the cover of this week’s SF Bay Guardian (click here for text)! Fine, so you have to look below Cazwell and Amanda Lepore, and even though I don’t want to hate, I wouldn’t be a queen if I didn’t read that crappy crop job they did on my face. But still. I am on Cloud Nine!
So many thanks to Marke B, who is not only a cutie patootie and a sweetheart, but also one of the funniest writers in the Bay Area (and that’s saying a lot with some of the other kids we’ve got up in here), for helping to make this happen!
Bar Mitzvah Photos, pt 2
Posted by Lil Miss Hot Mess on January 29, 2010
- Categories: Bat Mitzvah| photos
- No Comments
Bar Mitzvah Photos
Posted by Lil Miss Hot Mess on January 22, 2010
- Categories: Bat Mitzvah| photos
- No Comments
In preparation for my Bat Mitzvah, I asked my parents to send me some of my original Bar Mitzvah photos. You know, help me get in the mood. Here’s the first of two:
Just for the record: Bar = Boy (or technically “son”) and Bat = Girl (“daughter”). Get it right!
I’ll post the other one sometime next week.
I Want to Ride My Bicycle, or, 5 Tips for Drag Queens on Bike To Work Day
Posted by Lil Miss Hot Mess on May 9, 2011
- Categories: photos| politics| wow!
- 6 Comments
My name is Lil Miss Hot Mess, and I bike to work.
OK, fair enough, I don’t often ride my bike when I’ve got my face on, but I do ride my trusty Gene Kelly (you figure out why I call it that) to work most days, and every now and then I get tired of taking my oversize limousine (er, Muni) to a show. Trust: I absolutely loathe exercise, but I hate waiting even more and you know Grandma Goldie taught me how to save a couple bucks. So, since Bike To Work Day is coming up I thought I’d put together a list of tips for BWD (Biking Whilst in Drag):
1. Your wig will not protect you.
Wear a helmet, girl, and protect your brain, but more importantly your face! Your wig may be huge and could possibly used as a flotation device, but just think about it this way: when you topple onto the pavement and your brain is spilling out onto your flawless paint job, it will not make for a cute photo. Make sure it is snug and secure, just like your…
2. Unlike a microphone, share the road!
One diva, one mic = one diva, one bike? For once, get off that high horse and share the road with cars, pedestrians, and other bicyclists! Think of the bike lane as a catwalk – be fierce but not too ferocious. Follow the rules of the road and stay off the sidewalk, or I will throw you shade!
3. Sequins are good, but spotlights headlights are better.
Find your light, mama! Once the sun goes down, you’ve got to bring your own source: a white in front for the “coming” something red and moody behind for the “going.” I like mine to get all flashy, but that’s just personal taste.
4. Lock it up real tight
Should I go with a Boy Scout knot-tying motif, or a BDSM gag? Well, you get the drift… I have had my wheels stolen one too many times, and it is no fun hobbling down that walk of shame with a busted bike. Lock up your bike securely, the tighter the better, make sure you’ve tied up all the parts to something with a flared base top!
5. Watch your tuck, lady!
OK, this one is totally optional, but from personal experience you might need to shift your ride from defensive to um delicate to protect those lady parts!
That should get you going! Here’s some photos I took with my good friend Philip in honor of Bike To Work Day and the SF Bike Coalition’s Dress-Up Challenge – hope you enjoy!
PS: I haven’t blogged in almost a year, but I’m turning over a new leaf, honeys!
Bat Mitzvah Photos & Thank You
Posted by Lil Miss Hot Mess on February 9, 2010
- Categories: Bat Mitzvah| photos| wow!
- No Comments
Wow. I’m sitting here listening to my new Bette Midler ‘Live at Last’ album in my new teal sequin dress (I didn’t ask for presents, but I wouldn’t say no!) and still feeling ecstatic.
My Bat Mitzvah went off without a hitch: no rain, my gluegun lasted just long enough to make the cake (a Hanukkah-like miracle), and there was a line down the block! I literally had the time of my life and I’m grateful to everyone for dressing up gorgeous, dancing the Horah, and helping me live out this perverted dream!
Seriously, I feel like I’ve made it — not as a star or anything, but as a person in the kind of world I want to live in. And I’ve already heard such overwhelmingly positive feedback — who knows, maybe Lil Miss will throw more parties in her new-found womanhood? (But for now she’s going to sleep for days.)
And the best part: we raised $1500 for the US Social Forum! (If you want to learn/give more, click here.)
Be sure to check out your PHOTOS! (After the jump.) And of course, huge thanks to Mikeomatosis and Justin for snapping them!
Also, while I’m doing thank-yous, let me name all the people I didn’t get to name last night:
PERFORMERS: Sandra O. Noshidi’n't (my sister and co-hostess), Monistat, Mona G. Hawd, Anna Conda, Starr69, Dean Disaster, Vivvyanne ForeverMORE!, and Jupiter!
GO GO GOYS: Sweetcheeks, David, Ryan, Ellie, Julie
DJs: 510’s Finest, Mylo Pony, Pink Lightning
DOOR & COAT CHECK VOLUNTEERS: Ivan, Brittney (with special thanks for the cake!), Louisa, Sarah (with special thanks for my hair piece!), Ed, Sepi, Cary, Devon, Rachel, Val, Bobby
BAT MITZVAH BOYS: Alex, Marc, Maziar, Sergio
ALL AROUND AMAZING VOLUNTEERS: Jerry Lee, Ed, Ainsley, and Philip
THE BLUE MACAW: Barbara, Josette, and all of the bartenders and other staff!
And the part of the toast I forgot: “Here’s to a world based on love and justice… And where everyone can dress like Lady Gaga if and when we want to!”
xoxo,
Lil Miss Hot Mess
Photos after the jump…
cover of the SFBG!
Posted by Lil Miss Hot Mess on February 3, 2010
- Categories: Bat Mitzvah| photos
- 1 Comment
If you haven’t already, you should look for this shining face on the cover of this week’s SF Bay Guardian (click here for text)! Fine, so you have to look below Cazwell and Amanda Lepore, and even though I don’t want to hate, I wouldn’t be a queen if I didn’t read that crappy crop job they did on my face. But still. I am on Cloud Nine!
So many thanks to Marke B, who is not only a cutie patootie and a sweetheart, but also one of the funniest writers in the Bay Area (and that’s saying a lot with some of the other kids we’ve got up in here), for helping to make this happen!
Bar Mitzvah Photos, pt 2
Posted by Lil Miss Hot Mess on January 29, 2010
- Categories: Bat Mitzvah| photos
- No Comments
Bar Mitzvah Photos
Posted by Lil Miss Hot Mess on January 22, 2010
- Categories: Bat Mitzvah| photos
- No Comments
In preparation for my Bat Mitzvah, I asked my parents to send me some of my original Bar Mitzvah photos. You know, help me get in the mood. Here’s the first of two:
Just for the record: Bar = Boy (or technically “son”) and Bat = Girl (“daughter”). Get it right!
I’ll post the other one sometime next week.
Honey, if you don't trust me,
then I don't trust your taste.
Be My Friend!
