Lil Miss Hot Mess » Bat Mitzvah

Bat Mitzvah video

Lil Miss Hot Mess — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 17:26:57 +0000

Thanks to Ains for sending this video along!

Don’t you love how it kind of looks like an actual Bat Mitzvah video, what with the Horah and everything?

Harvey Fierstein sent me a Bat Mitzvah card!

Lil Miss Hot Mess — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 21:47:13 +0000

Okay, okay, okay — I’ll stop talking about the Bat Mitzvah soon enough. But today I have exciting news: Harvey Fierstein sent me a Bat Mitzvah card!

The backstory is that I sent him an invitation since I knew he was in town doing Fiddler on the Roof at the Golden Gate Theatre. I thought, if I can’t get Fran Drescher, I might as well have Harvey! I was a little last-minute about it, and I sent two, but one got returned to sender. But lo and behold!

Who knows (and who cares) if it was him or an assistant or whatever. File this under hilarious. Also, looks like the photo was taken by his brother Ronald (thanks internet research).

One question: would it be too much to ask for a Mazel Tov?!?

Bat Mitzvah Photos & Thank You

Lil Miss Hot Mess — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 21:43:41 +0000

Wow. I’m sitting here listening to my new Bette Midler ‘Live at Last’ album in my new teal sequin dress (I didn’t ask for presents, but I wouldn’t say no!) and still feeling ecstatic.

My Bat Mitzvah went off without a hitch: no rain, my gluegun lasted just long enough to make the cake (a Hanukkah-like miracle), and there was a line down the block! I literally had the time of my life and I’m grateful to everyone for dressing up gorgeous, dancing the Horah, and helping me live out this perverted dream!

Seriously, I feel like I’ve made it — not as a star or anything, but as a person in the kind of world I want to live in. And I’ve already heard such overwhelmingly positive feedback — who knows, maybe Lil Miss will throw more parties in her new-found womanhood? (But for now she’s going to sleep for days.)

And the best part: we raised $1500 for the US Social Forum! (If you want to learn/give more, click here.)

Be sure to check out your PHOTOS! (After the jump.) And of course, huge thanks to Mikeomatosis and Justin for snapping them!

Also, while I’m doing thank-yous, let me name all the people I didn’t get to name last night:

PERFORMERS: Sandra O. Noshidi’n't (my sister and co-hostess), Monistat, Mona G. Hawd, Anna Conda, Starr69, Dean Disaster, Vivvyanne ForeverMORE!, and Jupiter!

GO GO GOYS: Sweetcheeks, David, Ryan, Ellie, Julie

DJs: 510’s Finest, Mylo Pony, Pink Lightning

DOOR & COAT CHECK VOLUNTEERS: Ivan, Brittney (with special thanks for the cake!), Louisa, Sarah (with special thanks for my hair piece!), Ed, Sepi, Cary, Devon, Rachel, Val, Bobby

BAT MITZVAH BOYS: Alex, Marc, Maziar, Sergio

ALL AROUND AMAZING VOLUNTEERS: Jerry Lee, Ed, Ainsley, and Philip

THE BLUE MACAW: Barbara, Josette, and all of the bartenders and other staff!

And the part of the toast I forgot: “Here’s to a world based on love and justice… And where everyone can dress like Lady Gaga if and when we want to!”

xoxo,
Lil Miss Hot Mess

Photos after the jump…

Thanks again, Team Mikeomatosis!

cover of the SFBG!

Lil Miss Hot Mess — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 21:40:41 +0000

If you haven’t already, you should look for this shining face on the cover of this week’s SF Bay Guardian! Fine, so you have to look below Cazwell and Amanda Lepore, and even though I don’t want to hate, I wouldn’t be a queen if I didn’t read that crappy crop job they did on my face. But still. I am on Cloud Nine!

So many thanks to Marke B, who is not only a cutie patootie and a sweetheart, but also one of the funniest writers in the Bay Area (and that’s saying a lot with some of the other kids we’ve got up in here), for helping to make this happen!

Case of Manischewitz: check

Lil Miss Hot Mess — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 07:58:28 +0000

Buy in bulk and save!

Synagogue Chic inspiration

Lil Miss Hot Mess — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 08:00:51 +0000

It’s come to my attention that some boys and girls aren’t sure what to wear to my special day, so I thought I’d offer some inspiration. In coining the term “Synagogue Chic” I was really thinking geographically and temporally: Queens / Long Island / New Jersey circa 1994-98. You could probably add to that list such places as LA or maybe Miami (definitely Boca) with slight variations, and you could even go as far back as the 80s. But you get the gist. Pick your reference point as you see fit. Keep in mind there will be at least one photographer on the premises!

I’ve compiled a list of pictures that inspire me. Feel free to link to your own unique inspirations as well!

Let’s start with my ultimate fantasies:

And of course, I would be remiss if I did not include:

Unfortunately, I could not find better pictures of Yetta or Freida! Which is essentially a crisis of international proportions. Really, they’re the real deal. (If you want extra credit, watch these videos.)

Summary thus far:

Color Color Color.
Pattern Pattern Pattern.
Too Much is Never Enough.

More after the jump…

Of course, don’t forget that when it comes to the bubbes and zeydes, really any time period up through the 90s will do:

Major Takeaways:

It is OK to wear pants.
Velour – why not?
The More Beads the Better. (This one isn’t actually pictured, but trust me, I have a Jewish grandmother.)

And a few other ideas for those who want a more classic look:

Mother daughter skirt suits?

Tipsy tweens?

Really, anything in veloxur is kosher.

Bar Mitzvah Photos, pt 2

Lil Miss Hot Mess — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 20:42:20 +0000

Second of two shots from my first Bar Mitzvah…

Even then I knew how to give a little face, no? Also, look at that hideous tie!

Jessica McClintock: check!

Lil Miss Hot Mess — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 20:10:20 +0000

And I got it for 50% off. Discount!

Bar Mitzvah Photos

Lil Miss Hot Mess — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 06:12:21 +0000

In preparation for my Bat Mitzvah, I asked my parents to send me some of my original Bar Mitzvah photos. You know, help me get in the mood. Here’s the first of two:

Just for the record: Bar = Boy (or technically “son”) and Bat = Girl (“daughter”). Get it right!

I’ll post the other one sometime next week.

Let Me Entertain Jews

Lil Miss Hot Mess — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 05:54:29 +0000

In preparation for my Bat Mitzvah, I’ve been putting together a list of Jews in entertainment, partly as a list of suggestions for performers. I thought I’d share it here, and invite suggestions:

If that's not the face of a Jewess, I don't know what is.

Discuss!

MY JEWISH ICONS
Barbra
Bette
Gilda Radner
Fran Drescher
Joan Rivers
Sandra Bernhard

Click below for more, including converts and kabbalah-lebrities.

KABBALAH-LEBRITIES
Madonna
Victoria Beckham
Demi Moore
Ashton Kutcher
Brittney Spears
Paris Hilton

CONVERTS
Marilyn Monroe
Elizabeth Taylor
Ivanka Trump
Connie Chung

AT LEAST A LITTLE JEWISH(-ISH)
Paula Abdul
Leonard Cohen
Neil Diamond
Bob Dylan
Simon and Garfunkel
Nina Hagen
Lisa Loeb
Pink
Dinah Shore
Gene Simmons
Burt Bacharach
Pat Benatar (unclear)
Carrie Brownstein
Mama Cass
Lesley Gore
Janis Ian
Carole King
Peaches
Courtney Love (apparently)
Elvis
Melanie
The Shangri-las
Regina Spektor
Shari Lewis (Lamp Chop)
Ricki Lake
Suze Orman
Marx Brothers
Harvey Fierstein
Sammy Davis Jr.
Lenny Kravitz
Goldie Hawn
Ann Landers & Dear Abby
Geraldo Rivera
Jerry Seinfeld
Isaac Mizrahi
Amy Winehouse