stays in a second-hand pair of low-heeled Zara shoes whether or not you’ve hung out with Beth Ditto.

Okay, I owe Maura another hat-tip for this one.  Soon this is going to be lilmisshotmessstealsfrommaura.com.  Sigh.

Also, there are two things you need to know to properly understand this post:

1. What happened in the aforementioned second-hand pair of low-heeled Zara shoes.  I’m not going to say, because that would be giving all of my secrets away.  And it’s not that juicy.  And a girl must never let go of all her secrets.
   
2. That I recently decided to reference everything in my life as “before [or after] I hung out with Beth Ditto.”  As in, “Wait a minute, was that the time we ate tamales before or after I hung out with Beth Ditto?”